Vijay Mallya
(Owner of Kingfisher Airlines, Kingfisher beer & IPL's
Royal Challengers Bengaluru)
We are against
alcohol. This is an imaginary article written for fun.
Aam Aadmi (Mango Man) : Vijay Mallya ji, aap kisliye Kingfisher airlines ke
loan bhar nahi rahe ho?
Vijay Mallya : Kyunki mere saare rupaye London se Mahatma Gandhiji ke
saamaan auction karke laane mein khatam ho gaye.
Aam Aadmi : Sabhi bol rahe hain ki aapne beer ka paisa usme daala. Kya yeh sach
hain?
Vijay Mallya : Main sirf beer sell karta hoon. Usme bahut alcohol
nahi hota. Sirf 4% to 6% alcohol hota hain. Lekin humare politicians drugs sell
karnewaalo ko bhi nahi pakadte.
Aam Aadmi : Aap calendar mein ladkiyon par bahut paisa kharch karte ho. Isliye aapka
loss hua hoga.
Vijay Mallya : Lekin humare Indian women itne modern huye hain ki
Poonam Pandey aur Sherlyn Chopra jaise log apne nange (naked) photos twitter pe
dikhaate hain, woh bhi binaa paise ke. Aur Sherlyn Chopra bolti hain,
"Mere baap zinda hote toh mujhpar proud feel karte"
Lekin Sherlyn ko
nahi maloom hain ki shaayad inke dressing sense dekh kar hi inke pitaa pehle
guzar gaye honge.
Aam Aadmi : Agar aapko Kingfisher Airlines ko zinda rakhna hain toh, aap Ekta Kapoor
ke paas jaayiye. Unke ek astrologer hain.
Vijay Mallya : Lekin Ekta Kapoor ke bhai Tusshar Kapoor ko gungaa
karke bhi, pants ke neeche ka hissa dikha kar bhi, woh astrologer usse popular
nahi banaa sakaa, mujhe kya banaayegaa..??
Aam Aadmi : Aur ek astrologer hain. Bigg Boss ka astrologer.
Vijay Mallya : Shaayad uss astrologer ne Bigg Boss ko bataaya hoga, “Aap
aage mat aayiye. Kisi ne aapko dekha toh Bigg Boss show flop ho jaayegaa”
Phir bhi main mere
Kingfisher airlines ki raksha karne ke liye uss astrologer ke paas jaaongaa.
Bigg Boss ka astrologer : Aap ki destiny (naseeb) acchi hain. Lekin teen chaar
gadbad hain. Change karna chaahiye.
Vijay Mallya : Kya gadbad hain?
Astrologer : 1) Aapne apne Kingfisher ka
naam hataakar Queen Fisher rakhna
chaahiye. Nahin toh aur ek solution hain,
2) High command ka
hand aapke sar ke upar honaa chaahiye. Aur Airlines ka naam Ladies Finger rakhna chaahiye
kyunki Ladies finger (High Command) ki ungli mein bahut taakat hoti hain. Aur,
3) Aapke IPL team
ke logon ne aapse itne saare paise liye hain ki aapko bank se loan lene ki
zaroorat hi nahi hain. Un players se aap loan le sakte hain. Aur,
4) Royal ka R nikaal kar L
rakhna chaahiye. Isse Loyal Challengers
hota hain. Isse aapki team kitni loyal hain aur aapke liye kitne challenges
lete hain, woh aapko maloom padegaa.
Hehehe Nice I Am Madhav Rathore
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